Since my early teens I’ve been living my life in and out of places like the one above. On Probation or Parole as property of the Texas. Running around with an “I don’t give a fuck”, attitude, selling drugs and prospering from other’s downfalls. I’m not sure if it was the money or just simply having the power over helpless addicts. What ever was fueling my blaze of fury has finally come to an end. Not for any arrests for possessing or delivering drugs, but because of something a little closer to home. See I’ve had several huge back surgeries in the past three years including one fusion, which failed. With that I had to begin taking some of the drugs I sold to others. Well, I had been taking painkillers and driving, with my daughter when I got pulled over and received a DWI. There’s nothing worse than having to hear your daughter scream for you while you are in the back of a cop car. I punished myself for 6 months by not bonding out of jail, then realized that I was doing more damage inside. I only received three years of probation, but went back to jail for a while for basically being a nuisance to the Probation Department. Since my last stay in county, I have come to realize some things about myself.
All those things from my past were not the real me, and I live for more than just me. I have always been around for my daughter from the beginning till now, but I can’t be here for her in jail. I keep in good standing with my probation officer, and I see a therapist who helps me with my spirituality. One thing I have found out is that the more spirtitual I try, just try, to live, the better things turn out for me. So now I live by a differnt set of rules, the rules i should have been living by all along.